Deadlines and expectations. Taking possibly the most difficult exam: the Master of Wine and lessons from neurodiversity and ASD

Some people say that the more you do something, the easier it becomes. And definitely when it comes to recording this podcast and sharing my thoughts with you, it really is like that. This brings me some reflection on some of the past projects or initiatives that I have done that in some cases did not end as I was expecting. Today I will bring you an example of that experience. To contrast with how I'm doing the podcast, if anything, just explain how with our everyday life, we sometimes put too much pressure on what we do and ultimately does not end in what we are expecting. So let's start and let's discuss about it.

The initiative I was referring earlier is about wine studies that I wanted to pursue and achieve. And I have done quite a few of them up to the level where I was invited to join what is the, possibly the most difficult wine program in the world, and it's called Master of Wine. At the end of it, you have to pass an exam, and if you do, you join a very selected number of people. And if you don't, then you don't get anything out of it from a certificate or anything like that. You only get the experience and having spent time. When I embark on that, I was very excited, and I went to social media, and I told everybody, oh, I'm doing this, I'm launching this, I'm starting this Master of Wine program, et cetera.

Particularly through social media, there was a lot of follow up from people saying, oh, that's great, good luck, I hope you get it. What happened is that once I embark on that program and require a lot of study, the difficulty became very obvious and I dedicated time. Through it, in the back of my mind, I started thinking I must finish this for myself. And also because there's an expectation out there from a lot of people. You might think that sharing what we do is great, and actually it's possibly the best way when we say we are excited about doing this, we are looking forward to this new project. And I would say, based on my experience, that yes, it is as long as you are in full control of what you want to do.

If I say I'm going to be traveling later this year, and I'm looking forward to it, that's pretty much in my hands to do it. Therefore, I can do it, and I know you're going to bring it to place. When it comes to other elements where there's external factors, like study or work, we might put ourselves a bit of pressure. In the case of this program, one day some other candidates were having a time together, and it went a bit of a round of asking everybody what was the reason for just willing to achieve that certificate, to obtain that certificate. And the purpose was not clear in my case. So when it came to me, I came with a relatively big excuse, I guess, and I was hiding that the main purpose for me was my own ego of achieving a certificate or passing an exam and being able to say, oh, I passed this exam, therefore I am an expert.

As you recall from a previous podcast, I have moved on from associating who you are with what you have. Therefore, it's not about I am an expert. It's more about I have passed or don't have.

Having or not having does not define who I am. Deep inside me, that reflection I can have now really explains why at the end did not pass an exam and I decided to quit that program. There was no real purpose.

There was no purpose that came really from my willingness to do it. That, combined with the external expectations from a lot of people, knowing that I was in the program and just really saying, oh, I hope you get it. Good luck. Just combined to the worst possible experience. I left the program one year ago. Now I look back and I can see how I was not in the right mindset.

I was too much driven by ego. I was too much driven by the willingness to please others in their expectations, not mine. And I was going through it as I was going through it.

I was really just waiting just to finish. I couldn't enjoy the journey anymore. It came to a point where all the purpose I had was, I must have this, I must have passed this exam, I must have a certificate, so I can say, look, I have the certificate, so this proves who I am or what I have achieved. The main difference with this podcast and this initiative is that my approach has been radically different. To start with, the purpose I have is to share my thoughts. And that's a very simple initiative.

I'm not looking to impress anyone. I'm not looking to show off what I have achieved or not. I'm just saying what goes in my mind, what experience I have had in my life, how neurodiversity has affected me, and how now that I have a full awareness, I'm looking to turn that neurodiversity into one of my abilities. And by doing that, there's someone out there that listens and takes a different perspective, either by being a neurodiverse and looking in a more colorful way how life goes, or by someone surrounded by neurodiversity and understanding better people around them. That's my main purpose. That's good. That brings me also to the point about ego, whereas my program, the one I did, was very much about myself, proving myself, showing on myself. In here, there's very little ego. There's always a bit of ego in anything we need.

We do, because otherwise we wouldn't do it. The main difference I can see in this podcast is that I have not gone out there in the social media, in my network, and publicized very loudly. I'm launching a podcast. Follow me, follow me. Haven't done that. I have discussed with some close friends the idea that I'm launching a podcast or I'm producing a podcast. I'm telling them that it's going to come later in the year. And it's a very soft launch, soft as you can get, given I'm telling very, very few people. For the people that are aware, I'm not even telling them the name of the podcast or where to find it. I leave it very, very undercover in that respect, because I don't want them to go check and start generating that pressure on me that would not help. And from a social media perspective, it just kept to nothing. Yes, I have created some channels in social media for this podcast.

Those channels, hashtags, and information does not say anything about me. They are not linked to my personal social media profile. And from my own, I don't link to that, so it becomes completely separate. What that has brought is the freedom to do this podcast the way I want. You might be listening right now and think this podcast is not as good as others. You could do much better doing this way.

Haven't you thought about doing that? And all that feedback, which is very useful and definitely it's what allows us to go forward, might detract me from doing the podcast further or might bring me the pressure of doing it a different way. There's nothing better for me than sitting in front of the mic and downloading my thoughts, speaking, sharing with you my experiences, knowing that as far as I know, nobody around me has listened or knows.

The first listeners I have had so far have been remote, have been disconnected from me. And that's in itself a great success. If I'm doing this, I can reach to people that I don't know what better way than explain and just really talk everybody about neurodiversity.

The podcast also has helped me to just put the program in perspective, the one I was referring earlier. Doing something for others, doing something different, doing something challenging, and doing something where there's no expectation. Such a beautiful thing to do. In your life, you might have some challenges at work or relationships or initiatives or projects that you want to do. Think for a moment where the pressure comes from. If it's from yourself, what's your purpose?

And what pressure you get from outside? And find a way to shield yourself from that pressure. If you get feedback or if you get comments, put a filter.

Put a filter that is under your own design to only let through whatever you want to hear or whatever you want to have. And this has been the theme for today. I hope you find some inspiration or at least some understanding of how our purpose and our expectations are shaped by who we are and sometimes by how much we allow other people to influence ourselves.

That was the podcast for today talking about my own personal experience with one of the studies I did recently. I'm putting out the reflection that we need to take in terms of what we do and how we do it. Is that decided by external influence, by expectations from other people?

Have we put ourselves that expectation out there? Have we built our own trap by doing so? At the next article, I will continue exploring about neurodiversity, sharing my experience.