Mood and neurodiversity. Ways to manage our good and bad days

Am I being conscious enough of how I'm expressing here? Am I becoming monotone? What I'm doing?

This is the pure communication from someone with ASD, someone with near diversity, no filters, no editing, free flow of thought. Today I'm bringing a topic that by the essence of it, might just go very different from what I have done before. The reason is because today I want to talk about the mood, about how people feel during the day, or during different types of their life.

That's how is the approach for someone with neurodiversity. So yes, it's going to be maybe moody, maybe revealing, and more than anything else, opening up the point of view in terms of how someone with neurodiversity feels and expresses to other people. Does that correlate to the reality?

Or do we get the misalignment with other people in terms of how they see us and read our expressions? Let's have a look.

We all have good and bad days. That's the reality. I haven't met anyone that looks chirpy and looks very happy all the time, that doesn't have one or two days a bit cloudy. We live with that and it's part of life. We have external factors that might influence the way we think and the way we feel.

We also have our own internal battle. In the case of people with neurodiversity, we have the task of aligning to a society where the neurotypical person might behave in a different way. And that conflict, that difference of approach, make it have a certain mood that might not be the best sometimes. One day where you are not feeling that great or are unhappy about something, naturally, your facial expression is going to be more rigid, you're not going to be smiling, obviously. You're going to be portraying your feelings toward, with your body, toward external people. And for a neurotypical person, that's a very easy way to do, simply because it just comes naturally in that respect.

For someone with neurodiversity, and in the case of ASD, that connection is a bit broken. Our expression, our facial expression, the way we talk, sometimes is not as rich, is not as expressive as other people. And that makes the communication being misunderstood in some occasions.

As an example, when I'm not in the mood, for whatever reason, I talk very little. You could say that sometimes I don't talk at all, which is surprising for some of you. It's very common in my case.

My default position where I'm not in the mood is to shut from the external world. Of course, people around me, they still want to interact with me in some respect. The moment I shut that door, makes them feel that something is not right.

As an instinct, when I'm very focused on one activity, when I'm really engaged with something I do, I do not get my body to reflect my joy. To the extent that from someone outside, even if I'm well, I'm enjoying something, my face might not be showing. At least is not shown in an unconscious way. And that creates problems.

When you are with someone who has an expression, a tone of voice, or any hint that makes you wonder if that person is maybe unhappy, annoyed, sad, and you don't know what was the reason for it. It is worth asking. It could be someone with neurodiversity that does not come to the terms of expressing in a verbal, in a facial, in a physical way how they are feeling inside.

Unless we do it consciously, it's not going to happen. Now, that for some people is shocking.

There's a lot of a stereotype of people with ASD that don't express themselves, that they just behave like robots, have heard all sorts of things. Partially, we are partially to blame about that. If I don't express myself, I'm the one to be blamed, because I'm the one who can make that happen. If I'm interacting with anyone, if I'm with a society, it is my duty to make sure whatever is in my mind comes to the expression so people know where I am.

It is linked a bit with empathy. We empathize with people based on how they look or express themselves. Simply because we cannot get to their minds straight away. It is as if you had the screening showing you what might be happening inside. If that's a natural connection with what's inside, it's easy to empathize, it's easy to understand how other people are being. On the contrary, if that person has a neurodiversity, might not be coming as you would expect.

In the case of people with ASD, when we are happy or unhappy, sometimes our expression doesn't change. I have been told in the past, before I know I had ASD, that my expression sometimes was that I'm worried, or I'm very serious, or Joanne is very serious, or must be worried what's going on. I can tell you, on those occasions, I was really well. I was enjoying what I was doing. I was definitely happier than Sadr. I didn't reflect externally. My mindset was, I'm content, I'm well. Why should I make an conscious effort to express myself to others in my face? I'm good, I'm fine, just leave me alone, right? And that created misunderstanding. Now, whenever I'm conscious, I look at that. Does it happen all the time? No, unfortunately not. We cannot be conscious all the time, it requires a lot of effort. That means that sometimes I've failed to be conscious, and I might have been misread by other people.

However, whenever I'm conscious, I have seen an improvement on how people see my communication to them, how people read my facial expression, and reacts in a positive way. This means that the best we can get from ourselves is by expressing ourselves to make it easier for others to read what's in our mind.

The opposite is happening to other neurodiversities where people with unhappy moments or people having difficulties, their natural expression is to continue expressing happy and being lively. And it's also a problem because people then don't recollect on that and don't register on that situation and therefore cannot empathize. And that person having that moment might just go in a more difficult position.

So in essence, it's very important to check with others. If someone has a neurodiversity, be reminded of the importance of being conscious in terms of communication. If someone is neurotypical and is surrounded by other people with neurodiversity, just check in if there are changes in expression or lack of changes of expression. It might be that you see that person every day with the same monotone expression, and just want to find out. And maybe that way you get to what's inside the mindset. It is an area where the more I have been doing, the easier it becomes.

This blog is a good example. I look to have a richer way of expressing myself, simply because otherwise will be so monotone that it will be unbearable. Now, some of you might be thinking, well, you are achieving that most of the time, so you better change, and possibly you are absolutely spot on. I was asked last week the reason why I do this blog, and the reason is mainly because I want to raise awareness about neurodiversity. I want people to be aware that there's richness in our society coming from having a neurodiverse population. And it's also to make myself out there to improve.

So that's my by-product of this blog.

I've seen that in my presentations professionally, when I look at some of the documents I produced five, ten years ago, and I'm thinking, wow, such an improvement I have done in terms of how much more laser focus have become in terms of what I do. Talking might be the same. If you have a neurodiversity and are not satisfied with your interaction with other people because you feel disconnected or you feel misread, maybe as a suggestion, you can look at how you express yourself.

Maybe record yourself in the video and then look it back. Maybe record your voice, maybe write it down, what you're about to say, see what happens. Time helps a lot.

The moment we forget about something we have done, we can go back and see in a different perspective because the expression of ourselves, who we are in the future, is going to be different from today. That's a good way to think how we can all get better at our everyday life by being more conscious of ourselves and how other people see it.

If you find some reflection that really helps you or you like, I'm very happy for that. It is a two-way communication. You can leave comments on the blog or social media where I'm also posting this. And this is one blog where you are getting and will continue to get the pure communication from someone with ASD, someone with neurodiversity, no filters, no editing, free flow of thought.

If that's something that continues to make you happy and bring you joy, it also does. Have a great day, continue to consciously look at a better life and embrace neurodiversity. It's a way to enrich our life.

Take care. Thank you.